She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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