She's JV to your varsity
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
my liver is dry heaving
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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