dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
