Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
