So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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