You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
