I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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