What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just puked most of my soul out..
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
