The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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