I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
