She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
