My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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