only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
