I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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