If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
organizing the empties. That sober.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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