You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
