i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
