no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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