OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
