Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
