i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Randomize
