Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
