I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
