I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
