ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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