No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
