I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
