He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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