If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
