What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
