Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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