It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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