I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
