Will you blow on my dice?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
