so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
