I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm both gender and math confused
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
