He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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