If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
