i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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