They should really pass out barf bags in church
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
