don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
