k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
