There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
