I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
