i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
