I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
