We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
