Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm getting married
To pizza
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
