i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She bit a glass in half.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
