We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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