What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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